The Author Themself

Or: Who does this guy think they areis, anyway?

Oh, hello! My name is Marijn0 Florence1 Robert2 van Hoorn.34 I’m a Dutch citizen living in the north-east of green and pleasant England.

Gender and all that

I’m genderfluid. As far as most people should be concerned, i’m a “they”5, although i’ll happily refer to myself as a “he”, a “she”, a “ve”6, or whichever other terms take my fancy at the moment!

→ See also: the Gender Tetrahedron, “Men, women, ha’men?”

Faith (and other beliefs)

I’m a Pagan, focuſing my worſhip primarily (but by no means excluſively) on Hestia,7 Apollon, Dio­nysos, Gæa, Hermes, and Herm­a­phro­di­tos. I accept the reality of other traditions’ Gods, old and new, but prefer to focus my worſhip on the Gods of Hellenic mythoi, hiſtorically praiſed from Britain to Bactria.

There’s no reason for me to bore you to death with my political beliefs. Suffice it to say that i think humans are, generally, nice, and that stubborn misanthropy, hatred, and bigotry against one’s fellow person should be stamped out in all of its ugly forms.

→ See also: What i believe, the Foreſt of Shrines

“Why do you spell it like that?”8

I have a number of idiosyncracies in how i use the English language on this site: i lowercase the pronoun i when not at the start of a sentence,9 use ligatures in words like æsthetic and fœtus, use diæreses to separate vowels in words like coöperation and reëntry,10 ſet the names of Gods in ſmall-caps (e.g. Dio­nysos),11 and uſe the long ſ in matters relating to my faith.

→ See also: the Van Hoorn style guide, a nicer ƿaȝ of ƿriting Engliſh

About the site

I started messing about on Neocities, the free web host, in 2017. The current incarnation of my website has been around in some way since 2018, but it didn’t really take off until 2020's covid-19 pandemic, when everyone was forced to stay home — this website was my way of staying sane. In 2021 i finally coughed up the money to migrate over to Krystal, a proper hosting service, letting me do things like set up The Garden on Wordpress and allow comments.

I was inspired to start a website in the first place after seeing the site of conlanger David J. Peterson,12 whose style i shamelessly took after for the site's first incarnation,13, as well as that of fellow conlanger Jan van Steen­berg­en.

My biggest inspirations for the site’s modern design are \u2764, a “journal” of individual, custom-made HTML and CSS pages, which introduced me to the liberating idea that each page could be its own self-contained creätive little thing, with no need for an imposed uniform style or clunky navbars, and, which introduced me to sidenotes (the love of my life), those little icons next to external links, and good typography.14

Inspirations for specific pages

The background image on the armorial page was based on the one on Orteil’s website.15 The linkroll was inspired by Kicks Condor’s Heximal was inspired by jan Misali's seximal system for base-6 numbering, as well as previous attempts for useable hexadecimal by Tim Babb and Intuitor.16 The Foreſt of Shrines is inſpired by Morag Spinner’s Temple of Three, with the individual ſhrines taking inſpiration from Salem of The Nexus’s ſhrine pages. The design of Kunstgalerie van Hoorn was inspired by those placards you get next to artworks at museums.17 The rarely-used “ueqs­tions and an­wsres” page was based on Bill Wurtz’s Q&A page. The monochrome colours and dithered images of the collection of interesting Wiki­pedia articles were taken from Lucas Pope’s game Return of the Obra Dinn. The concept and design of Nicæa is a loving pastiche of Neocities’ own Districts. The page listing every song i’ve ever cried to was inspired by Seán Krow's “contours” page, where he recounts a “remembered discography”. Finally, The Garden was inspired by innumerable Blogspot blogs of yore, the wonderful people keeping blogging alive in 2021, and most of all, my unpent rage towards homogenous, monochrome, gentrified blog platforms like Medium and Substack.

The fun part

Contact the webmixter

If you want to get in touch, please send an email to Unless you’re an arsehole or a spambot, i’ll try to respond, promise!

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Page created: 2 Feb. 2020
Page last updated: 26 Jun 2021