Discord funny moments

Sometimes, people say funny things on Discord. Given that links last either forever or a year (whichever comes first), i have elected to host some of my favourites here. All names have been anonymised; my "anonymised" handle here is <dearestDionysian>.

DISCORD® — 2019 Jun 23

<awkwardAdonis> Can you present me with a reasoned critique instead of just saying "why are you wrong"?

<beardedBacchanalian> No

DISCORD® — 2020 Apr 9

<beardedBacchanalian> But here's the thing

<beardedBacchanalian> What's perfect differs from person to person

<beardedBacchanalian> Like one man's hell is another man's pleasure dungeon and all

<beardedBacchanalian> IDK if I'm making sense

<effervescentEros> Please don't say pleasure dungeon

<floridFaunus> Dungeon of carnal desires?

DISCORD® — 2020 Mar 27

<gentlemanGanymede> now now capricorn, you know you can't bring guns to school unless you bring enough to share with the whole class

DISCORD® — 2020 Mar 17

<headstrongHephæstus> okay but props to belgium for being so evenly split down the middle

A map of Belgium within Europe, with the division between Wallonia and Flanders highlighted.

<beardedBacchanalian> Yea hephaestus jokes are usually split into parts

DISCORD® — 2020 Jun 13

<innocentInanna> atheist spaghetti

<floridFaunus> Inanna that's just the Flying Spaghetti Monster

<innocentInanna> just because you are correct

DISCORD® — 2020 Jul 19

<keeneyedKerberos> i think it's time to shut off the internet after seeing someone with an mlp pfp declare their love to filipino dictator duterte

DISCORD® — 2020 Oct 10

<melancholicMercury> if i were kim jong-il i'd consider supporting biden just to fuck with everybody

<dearestDionysian> mercury if you were kim jong-il you'd be a corpse

<melancholicMercury> are you implying i can't effectively rule a totalitarian state

<dearestDionysian> no it's just that kim jong-il has been dead for nine years

<melancholicMercury> FUCK

<dearestDionysian> i am sure you'd make an excellent totalitarian dictator though

<melancholicMercury> jong-un i mean, brainfart

<melancholicMercury> thank you

<melancholicMercury> senior moment

DISCORD® — 2020 Oct 21

<dearestDionysian> injects highly corrosive acid into your spinal fluid :3c

<floridFaunus> 😳

<nauseatedNestor> 😳

<obfuscatedOrpheus> why do I talk to you people

DISCORD® — 2020 Nov 28


<nauseatedNestor> RACISM GOES IN #media

DISCORD® — 2020 Dec 30

<persnicketyPerseus> orpheus its 11:30 go to the zone

<innocentInanna> what zone

<innocentInanna> the chernobyl exclusion zone?

<persnicketyPerseus> snooez

DISCORD® — 2021 Jan 19

<quiveringQuirinus> I’m in my room playing church hymns on my keyboard and I hear my brother playing BIG BIG CHUNGUS on his fucking accordion

DISCORD® — 2021 May 31

<rambunctiousRomulus> illegal whispering

<rambunctiousRomulus> Does anyone have a way around the Economist's paywall?

<steadfastSarpedon> I know if you sign up for a free account you get a certain amount of articles per month.

<dearestDionysian> https://addons.mozilla.org/en-GB/firefox/addon/bypass-paywalls-firefox/

<dearestDionysian> worked for me

<rambunctiousRomulus> I appreciate both of your answers and their... diversity

DISCORD® — 2021 September 7

<dearestDionysian> I have a take but I don’t know how hot it is

<capriciousCapricorn> Only one way to find out

<dearestDionysian> BBC Radio > BBC Television

<tonguetiedTelemachus> YEAHHHH

<tonguetiedTelemachus> good old sleep deprived nights listening to very early morning radio 4

<ululatingUlysses> The Shipping Forecast has become the funerary bells for my sleep schedule

DISCORD® — 2021 August 26

<victoriousVulcan> "Land of the free" means nothing when a sandwich tyrant deprives you the right to easily accessible fried sticks of goat cheese

DISCORD® — 2022 March 21

<whisperingWadjet> DIY urinary tract rewiring

<quiveringQuirinus> fourth grade problems

DISCORD® — 2022 April 2

<xenialXylomancer> I am half-white and I think that half-white part of me has manifested entirely in me being someone who will defend the majority of coldplay's music

DISCORD® — 2022 April 18

<victoriousVulcan> i got ghosted by the squid facts hotline 😔

DISCORD® — 2022 October 4

<victoriousVulcan> what did i miss

<victoriousVulcan> why are we discussing anal beads in #admiral

<quiveringQuirinus> chess

<victoriousVulcan> this makes even less sense now

DISCORD® — 2023 January 14

<victoriousVulcan> some would say a Brazilian butt lift is an illegal hack in the eyes of God

DISCORD® — 2023 February 18

<ycleptYngvi> Like, what Shrek did with respect to the Disney Renaissance, the DCEU tried to do with Marvel, but failed spectacularly

<ycleptYngvi> Zack Snyder is less powerful than Shrek, is what I’m getting at

DISCORD® — 2024 May 26

<tonguetiedTelemachus> They asked for my id at the club. Tried to show them my ego and superego instead but they weren't having it


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    Page created: θʹ Mounychion χϟθʹ.γʹ / 2020 April 01 // Page updated: ιʹ☾ Thargelion ψʹ.γʹ / 2024 May 28

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