Discord funny moments

Sometimes, people say funny things on Discord. Given that links last either forever or a year (whichever comes first), i have elected to host some of my favourites here. All names have been anonymised; my "anonymised" handle here is <dearestDionysian>.

(12019.06.23)
<awkwardAdonis> Can you present me with a reasoned critique instead of just saying "why are you wrong"?
<beardedBacchanalian> No

(12020.04.11)
<cryptidCapricorn> I would like to kindly remind people that I am not frying goats with lightening, nor do I ever intend to because they explode.
<dearestDionysian> How would you know this, Capricorn?
<dearestDionysian> Would you like to tell the class?

(12019.04.09)
<beardedBacchanalian> But here's the thing
<beardedBacchanalian> What's perfect differs from person to person
<beardedBacchanalian> Like one man's hell is another man's pleasure dungeon and all
<beardedBacchanalian> IDK if I'm making sense
<effervescentEros> Please don't say pleasure dungeon
<floridFaunus> Dungeon of carnal desires?

(12019.03.27)
<gentlemanGanymede> now now zagreus, you know you can't bring guns to school unless you bring enough to share with the whole class

(12020.03.17)
<headstrongHephæstus> okay but props to belgium for being so evenly split down the middle
A map of Belgium within Europe, with the division between Wallonia and Flanders highlighted. <beardedBacchanalian> Yea hephaestus jokes are usually split into parts

(12020.07.13)
<innocentInanna> atheist spaghetti
<floridFaunus> Inanna that's just the Flying Spaghetti Monster
<innocentInanna> just because you are correct

(12020.06.14)
<jeeringJupiter> who is this Chaz fellow and what is he doing in seattle

(12020.07.19)
<keeneyedKerberos> i think it's time to shut off the internet after seeing someone with an mlp pfp declare their love to filipino dictator duterte

(12020.07.31)
<luminiescentLitavis> why is the small uy not wearing a thingo a mouth cover thingo
<luminiescentLitavis> a mask

(12020.10.10)
<melancholicMercury> if i were kim jong-il i'd consider supporting biden just to fuck with everybody
<dearestDionysian> mercury if you were kim jong-il you'd be a corpse
<melancholicMercury> are you implying i can't effectively rule a totalitarian state
<dearestDionysian> no it's just that kim jong-il has been dead for nine years
<melancholicMercury> FUCK
<dearestDionysian> i am sure you'd make an excellent totalitarian dictator though
<melancholicMercury> jong-un i mean, brainfart
<melancholicMercury> thank you
<melancholicMercury> senior moment

(12020.10.21)
<dearestDionysian> injects highly corrosive acid into your spinal fluid :3c
<floridFaunus> 😳
<nauseatedNestor> 😳
<obfuscatedOrpheus> why do I talk to you people

(12020.11.28)
<nauseatedNestor> YNGVI!!! STOP BEING RACIST IN GENERAL
<nauseatedNestor> RACISM GOES IN #media

(12020.12.30)
<persnicketyPerseus> orpheus its 11:30 go to the zone
<innocentInanna> what zone
<innocentInanna> the chernobyl exclusion zone?
<persnicketyPerseus> snooez

(12021.01.19)
<quiveringQuirinus> I’m in my room playing church hymns on my keyboard and I hear my brother playing BIG BIG CHUNGUS on his fucking accordion

(12021.03.13)
<rambunctiousRomulus> orpheus why are you killing egyptians
<obfuscatedOrpheus> because i have to