Discord funny moments

Sometimes, people say funny things on Discord. Given that links last either forever or a year (whichever comes first), i have elected to host some of my favourites here. All names have been anonymised; my "anonymised" handle here is <dearestDionysian>.

<awkwardAdonis> Can you present me with a reasoned critique instead of just saying "why are you wrong"?
<beardedBacchanalian> No

<cryptidCapricorn> I would like to kindly remind people that I am not frying goats with lightening, nor do I ever intend to because they explode.
<dearestDionysian> How would you know this, Capricorn?
<dearestDionysian> Would you like to tell the class?

<beardedBacchanalian> But here's the thing
<beardedBacchanalian> What's perfect differs from person to person
<beardedBacchanalian> Like one man's hell is another man's pleasure dungeon and all
<beardedBacchanalian> IDK if I'm making sense
<effervescentEros> Please don't say pleasure dungeon
<floridFaunus> Dungeon of carnal desires?

<gentlemanGanymede> now now sisyphus, you know you can't bring guns to school unless you bring enough to share with the whole class

<headstrongHephæstus> okay but props to belgium for being so evenly split down the middle
A map of Belgium within Europe, with the division between Wallonia and Flanders highlighted. <beardedBacchanalian> Yea hephaestus jokes are usually split into parts

<innocentInanna> atheist spaghetti
<floridFaunus> Inanna that's just the Flying Spaghetti Monster
<innocentInanna> just because you are correct

<jeeringJupiter> who is this Chaz fellow and what is he doing in seattle

<keeneyedKerberos> i think it's time to shut off the internet after seeing someone with an mlp pfp declare their love to filipino dictator duterte

<luminiescentLitavis> why is the small uy not wearing a thingo a mouth cover thingo
<luminiescentLitavis> a mask

<melancholicMercury> if i were kim jong-il i'd consider supporting biden just to fuck with everybody
<dearestDionysian> mercury if you were kim jong-il you'd be a corpse
<melancholicMercury> are you implying i can't effectively rule a totalitarian state
<dearestDionysian> no it's just that kim jong-il has been dead for nine years
<melancholicMercury> FUCK
<dearestDionysian> i am sure you'd make an excellent totalitarian dictator though
<melancholicMercury> jong-un i mean, brainfart
<melancholicMercury> thank you
<melancholicMercury> senior moment

<dearestDionysian> injects highly corrosive acid into your spinal fluid :3c
<floridFaunus> 😳
<nauseatedNestor> 😳
<obfuscatedOrpheus> why do I talk to you people

<nauseatedNestor> RACISM GOES IN #media

<persnicketyPerseus> orpheus its 11:30 go to the zone
<innocentInanna> what zone
<innocentInanna> the chernobyl exclusion zone?
<persnicketyPerseus> snooez

<quiveringQuirinus> I’m in my room playing church hymns on my keyboard and I hear my brother playing BIG BIG CHUNGUS on his fucking accordion

<rambunctiousRomulus> illegal whispering
<rambunctiousRomulus> Does anyone have a way around the Economist's paywall?
<steadfastSarpedon> I know if you sign up for a free account you get a certain amount of articles per month.
<dearestDionysian> https://addons.mozilla.org/en-GB/firefox/addon/bypass-paywalls-firefox/
<dearestDionysian> worked for me
<rambunctiousRomulus> I appreciate both of your answers and their... diversity

<dearestDionysian> I have a take but I don’t know how hot it is
<suspectSisyphus> Only one way to find out
<dearestDionysian> BBC Radio > BBC Television
<tonguetiedTelemachus> YEAHHHH
<tonguetiedTelemachus> good old sleep deprived nights listening to very early morning radio 4
<ululatingUlysses> The Shipping Forecast has become the funerary bells for my sleep schedule