Via Hansard, the official record of British parliamentary business, then–Labour
MP
Joe Ashton informs us of the sort of nonsense
that went on when the government had a majority of minus seventeen:
We used to have a bog trotter. When the Division bell rang, we had a top and bottom bog trotter
whose job it was to run around all the toilets to see if anyone was locked in. We had to look
under the door for feet and, if seen, we looked over the top. If that person was one of theirs
we left him, if it was one of ours, we got him out — if necessary with a screwdriver to unlock
the door from the outside. That was the sort of nonsense that occurred when the House divided.
I remember the famous case of
Leslie Spriggs, the then Member for
St. Helens. We had a tied vote and he was brought to the House in an ambulance having suffered a
severe heart attack. The two Whips went out to look in the ambulance and there was Leslie
Spriggs laid there as though he was dead. I believe that
John Stradling Thomas said to
Joe Harper, “How
do we know that he is alive?” So he leaned forward, turned the knob on the heart machine, the
green light went around, and he said, “There, you've lost — it's 311.” That is an absolutely
true story. It is the sort of nonsense that used to happen. No one believes it, but it is true.
[...]
When Parliament was first broadcast, for the first three days the
BBC broadcast everything that came through the loudspeakers. It was
libellous, it was unbelievably crude, but it was hilarious. The
BBC panicked and said, “Somebody will sue us for libel. If it is in
Hansard it is okay, but if it is not in Hansard we will be done for libel.” So
the BBC stopped broadcasting everything; now, it jams the broadcast
so all people hear is, “Hear, hear, hear.” It is terrified of being sued for libel.
This stems from
a 1997 debate on the modernisation of parliamentary procedure. More anecdotes from the same speech can be found on the other side of the link.