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2024 July 14

2024 April 03

I forgor to update. Skull emoji goes here.

Lords of Misrule 2023

It’s been a long year. That’s the traditional thing to say, but honestly, it’s been quite a short year for me, and autumn has crept up without me even noticing. That can only mean one thing…

Io Saturnalia!

It’s time, once again, for our third annual Satyrs’ Forest Lords of Misrule, where in the spirit of the season, i put you (yes, you) in charge of the site.

If you write or put togeher something — absolutely anything* — and email it to misrule@satyrs.eu, come Saturnalia (December 17 to 23, for those who aren’t up to date on their Roman calendar) i’ll put it up on the site, on the blog and on its own dedicated permanent subpage, etched in stone for all to see.

As in years past, i ask only that you refrain from political polemics and anything that would get this noble forest in legal trouble. Other than that, the sky is the limit. A video essay on the occult implications of Gremlins 2? A rant about that new skyscraper that blots out the view of your favourite billboard? Anything goes. Whatever you — my lords of misrule — want.

You can submit your entries from today until the 16th of December, 2023. Have fun, and don’t be afraid to get weird with it!

— Xanthe

2023 November 12

I somehow neglected to inform the Log of Changes™ of perhaps the most significant change to the site in quite some time — let’s fix that. This site is now, after a prolonged hiatus, self-hosted on my very own computer-matic 9000! So much has changed that i don’t think i could even remember enough to list it all, but here’s the biggest additions:

2023 April 04

Whooh! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Apologies for the wait — it was one of those things where i kept putting it off until i finished this, and that, and this other thing and… you get the idea.

2023 January 21

Lords of Misrule 2022

This part of the post is copied over from the main page for Lords of Misrule.

The cycle of a year is a wonderful thing. Trees grow and wilt, rivers ebb and flow, and every winter, Gæa blankets Herself in a snowy coat. All across Europe, people gather together, huddling around, exchanging gifts. Most would call it Christmas.

For us? Well… Io Saturnalia!

It’s time for the second annual Satyrs’ Forest Lords of Misrule! In the spirit of the topsy-turvy season, i’m putting you in charge of the site.

If you write or put together something — absolutely anything — and email it to misrule@satyrs.eu, come Saturnalia (that’s December 17 to 23, for those who aren’t up to date with their ancient festivals) i’ll put it up on the site, both on the blog and on its own dedicated, permanent subpage, etched in stone for all to see.

Like last year, i would ask that you refrain from political polemics or anything that would get this noble forest in legal trouble. Apart from that, anything goes. Your gran’s chocolate cake recipe? An impassioned defence of Freddy Got Fingered as an ironic masterpiece? Hell, i’ll even let you vandalise one of the permanent pages for a bit if you ask me to. Whatever you — my lords of misrule — want.

You can submit your entries from today until the 16th of December, 2021. Have fun, and don’t be afraid to get weird with it!

— Xanthe

2022 November 01
  • The front page has been redesigned with a sleeker, less boring page index.
  • I’ve begun the process of getting rid of Goatcounter in favour of my hosting provider’s good-enough analytics — figure it’s one less privacy risk for my dear devilishly handsome readers.
  • You may have noticed some gradual swapping out of names in corners of the site — it’s not a trans thing or anything, just trying to anonymise a bit and build up a fictional persona for myself. :-)
  • Two new posts on The Garden:

2022 October 16

That new album from The 1975 is the greatest album ever made and you should go listen it right now. I’m not going to show you the updates until you do it. Start to finish. I’m watching you.

Done? Alright! Here’s the newest stuff:

2022 September 11

I leave the new page update late one time and then the Queen dies. Never again. (My apologies for the slowdown in additions — there’s been a whole menagerie of things for me to deal with in meatspace.)

2022 July 24
  • New page! The Otter’s Holt, in which i expose myself as shameless furry trash. (I’m sorry you had to find out this way.)
  • Added three new links to ye olde linke-rolle (bringing the total up to 88), alongside the beginnings of a Dutch translation. Exciting!
  • The Garden now has a wicked cool hacked-together archives widget, as well as the following new pages:
  • Basa de Dunya has its first substantial translation, that being the Lord’s Prayer. (I haven’t suddenly become some sort of feckless Galilean ruffian — it’s just an easily available, widely translated text with a good balance of length and substance versus common words.)
  • Touched up the HTML template with a fresh lick of paint and some general updates to how i structure pages these days.
  • New dream, as you do. Not sure why i’d ever take a trip to Malawi, but my oneiroself seemed to quite enjoy it.
  • I’m also slowly working on a revitalised version of the music page — same general æsthetic, but as for the layout — well, have you ever seen a Nokia N-Gage?

2022 June 08

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? As such, i can’t promise this is a complete list of updates, but it should be of use regardless:

2022 April 19
  • Ah, crumbs — i accidentally set the date a year early on the last post, so most of you probably missed the fact that i now have a new domain name at satyrs.eu. Shan’t be happening again. In other news…
  • I rescued a post about our Christmas tradition from the ashes of the deleted blog archive and spruced (heh) it up with its own proper formatting. Merry Christmeaster, everyone.
  • New Discord funny moment.
  • I’ve saved the best for last — we now have comments on the main site! Yes, really — just have a look at this very post. I’ll be gradually adding them across more pages, so keep an eye out!


Do not adjust your television set! I bought a .eu domain on a whim, and i figured i might as well take it for a spin. The way i see it, either it’s only four quid down the drain and i end up going back to the old domain, or i keep it and wipe any trace that anyone by my name was ever involved in the making of this site. ;)

Anyway, erm, here’s the usual change roundup:

2022 March 22

2022 January 23

2022 January 23

2022 January 16
  • New site name! Welcome to The Satyrs’ Forest. I always found just calling it satyrs.eu to be terribly, terribly generic.
  • A visual refresh was in order for the quotes page, and with it comes the magic of video!
  • Two links added to the linkroll, alongside two new tags (‘Americana’ and ‘Fledglings’).
  • The about page now contains a helpful map to assist in geographical orientation.
  • A Christmas Carol has been added to the Codex, partially just to test how a full book would work in the format, but mostly because it’s a lovely little read at any time of year.
  • “What i believe” now has a brief digression on what i would like done to my corporeal body after i die.
  • Updated the vinyl collection databank with Speaking in Tongues — “This Must Be the Place (Naïve Melody)” is surely up there as one of the greatest songs ever written.
  • I may give in to the epicene urge to redesign my music page again at some point. Not saying i will, but…
  • The style guide has been outfitted with a brief statement of “general content guidelines”.

    There are enough miserable, cynical louts on the internet, and you mustn’t let yourself join them. It’s a beautiful wide world out there, and you’re going to spend it kvetching on your website about what someone said online? No thank you!

2021 December 29

2021 November 29

Lords of Misrule 2021

This is a copy of the main page for the event.

“Iō Saturnalia!” So went the cry that marked the start of the eponymous classical holiday. For one glorious week, Roman society was turned on its head: slaves became masters; togas were out and ostentatious displays of colour were in; gag gifts were given; and one lucky person was elected the local King of Saturnalia. Whatever orders the King barked had to be followed, no matter how ridiculous. This tradition clung on even into the Christian middle ages as the English “lord of misrule” — a lone pagan vestige in a monotheistic world.

So, in the spirit of those winter holidays, to lighten up this frosty time of year, i thought it would be fun to let you play that rule for my website. Welcome, one and all, to the first annual satyrs.eu Lords of Misrule!

If you write or put together something — absolutely anything — and email it to misrule@satyrs.eu, come Saturnalia (that’s December 17 to 23, for those who understandably aren’t up to date with ancient festival customs) i’ll put it up on the site, both on the blog and on its own dedicated, permanent subpage, etched in stone for all to see.

I would ask that you don’t submit any political polemics (we’ve had quite enough of those) or anything that would get me in legal trouble, but apart from that, anything goes. Your gran’s chocolate cake recipe? An impassioned defence of Freddy Got Fingered as an ironic masterpiece? A rant about how keyboards aren’t what they used to be? Whatever you — my lords of misrule — want.

You can submit your entries from today until the 16th of December, 2021. Have fun, and don’t be afraid to get weird with it!

— Xanthe

2021 November 16

2021 October 28

2021 October 08

2021 July 26

2021 June 19

2021 May 16
  • New page, sort of! The Garden has been moved to a new URL, at satyrs.eu/garden. This new version is now powered by WordPress, letting me post more easily and letting you comment more easily. Huzzah! The first two posts:
  • Three new links have been added to the linkroll.
  • Nicæa, my directory of religious websites on Neocities, has been deprecated and taken off of the index page. It only makes sense now that i’m not using it anymore.

2021 May 09
  • A “dark mode” of ſorts has been added to the ſhrine pages. If one clicks on the ſun in the top right corner, the lights will go dark, with only portraits of the relevant God in light. The picture frames on my real life ſhrine have a tendency to break, ſo until i can get my hands on ſome ſtatuettes, this will have to do…
  • Added my “most enjoyed” song and film to the about page.
  • Two new dreams have been listed on the dream log.
  • One new quote has been added to “Quotes and other assorted aphorisms”:

    A language is a dialect with an army and a navy. (אַ שפּראַך איז אַ דיאַלעקט מיט אַן אַרמיי און פֿלאָט)

    Max Weinrich
  • The style guide now has clarification on when to capitalise the word Pagan and a list of Americanisms that tend to catch me out.

2021 April 27
  • We’ve moved! This webste is now hosted by the fine people at Krystal, a UK-based web host powered by 100% renewables. Neocities has been fun, and i’ll try to keep in touch — but if you have any stray Neocities links laying around, now’s the time to change them over.
  • The heraldry page now has a fancied-up list of fellow internet armigers, alongside some coats of arms i designed for online communities i take part in.
  • Two new records have been acquired for my vinyl collection.
  • Work is going well on porting The Garden over to WordPress: A work in progress screenshot of a WordPress site with a design quite similar to that of the Garden.

2021 April 21

2021 April 12
  • Deprecated the Holocene calendar (the thing where i would write 2021 instead of 2021). We’re free!
  • Added the following new pages to the list of interesting Wikipedia articles: Ball lightning, Burnt house horizon, Cagot, Chabad messianism, Rodney Marks
  • Two new posts on The Garden:
  • A commemorative banner has been temporarily added to the front of the index page to commemorate my late grandfather. May he rest in peace.

2021 April 03
  • The index page has been done up a bit: it’s now fully bilingual, and the colophon is no longer a boring wall of text.
  • Two new posts on The Garden:
  • The linkroll has had some improvements made for those of you on mobile: sites which don’t play nice with mobile phones are now clearly marked, and phone users will now see screenshots made on a phone instead of on a desktop computer.
  • The words iktsuarpok and galeänthropy have been removed from the Compendium of Good Words, as i suspect they’re the sort of word that are used more often in compilations of Top 10 Shocking And Rare Words That Will Amaze Your Balls Off!!! than in actual use as words

2021 March 28
  • New page! Things to do before i die (and its Dutch translation).
  • The style guide has been updated with a new section about the proper usage of apostrophes, ʻokinas, quote marks, &c.
  • Turns out my domain name providers (💜 Gandi) have a free 10-day trial of their web hosting services, including WordPress — i think i’m going to muck about with that to see if i can get a theme in order that looks somewhat like The Garden, in case i ever move to a “real” hosting provider.

2021 March 26
  • New post on The Garden: Vaccinated. (Dutch version)
  • Added eight new words to the Compendium: cephalophore, endling, graupel, kalends, malefit, skolion, sfumato, and thing. All of these were taken from a .txt-file list compiled by one Kartik Chandra at Stanford University, so credit where credit’s due to him!

2021 March 24
  • New post on The Garden: Links for the 24th of March
  • Added the following item to my list of wants:
    Move to a “real” host. I love Neocities with all my heart and know that if i moved away it’d probably decimate (in the Roman sense) the number of people who come to visit this site, but it is slowly killing me that The Garden is such a faff to update and can’t support comments in any easy-to-use way without being dependent on some skeevy outside service or forcing everyone to email them in like it’s 1995.
  • Inspiration sources for specific pages were added to the Dutch version of the about page.
  • A new post yelled into the void:
    oh my god i have searched google for the word “aykshually”, in double quotes. it stubbornly corrects: “did you mean *ackshually*?”

2021 March 19

2021 March 14

2021 March 05

2021 March 01
  • New page, in response to a reader request: s → ſ, a widget to convert from short to long S-es.
  • The heraldry page has now been translated into Dutch! Researching this was a royal pain in the bum because, as you can imagine, there are no easily-accessible English→Dutch dictionaries pertaining to heraldic jargon.
  • New post on The Garden: February 2021 in the rear view mirror.
  • Added labels for mobile compatibility to the Nicæa directory.

2021 February 23
  • You’ll have to forgive me if this is more disorganised than usual, because i blew the old index page to kingdom come in a command-line accident the other day. It’s been reorganised now; out with the neon purples, in with the green-and-pleasants! The old version was getting bloated anyway.
  • New page: There are two continents. Also available in Dutch and Esperanto.
  • There was a new links post on The Garden.
  • And a new post yelled into the void:
    imagine if we finally decipher linear a and then all the inscriptions turn out to be really pedestrian. like. linguists spend centuries figuring it out and it's all just “buy more goat’s milk” and “becky you unchivalrous harlot give me back the kids”

2021 February 16

2021 January 29
  • I’m working on moving the documentation on Basa de Dunya — the current iteration of Yedena, from my conlang page — to my website from its current state as a loosely-organised Notepad file.
  • Also, i fixed a slip-up i made with the Attic dates on this changelog. Everything was one day ahead of where it should have been by accident — whoops!

2021 January 28

2021 January 22

2021 January 17
  • Right, hello! After months of the only information of what’s changed being non-specific date numbers on the front page, i’ve finally set up a proper changelog; i’ll try to keep this irregularly updated with recent changes to the site. Might even add RSS at some point, if i can be bothered to figure it out. Anyway, in recent news…
  • One new important video has been added to “this’ll be on my videotape”:
  • Two new posts have been written on The Garden:
  • This website now has a functioning favicon. I’ll be rolling it out to pages as i edit them — there’s a lot of pages to edit, you can’t rush this sort of thing!
  • I’m testing out designs for comments on The Garden on a sandbox page. Comments will just work via you emailling them and me manually adding them; it’s the easiest way to get around Neocities’ limitations as a static site host.