The Garden

A blog by Marijn van Hoorn

The Garden has moved. Please adjust your television sets

Marijn van Hoorn

Hello. The Garden has moved. You can find the new and improved blog, now powered by Wordpress, at Please adjust your links and RSS feeds.

All the content on this old, static blog will remain here — at least until i get embarrassed in ten years and delete it all! (I’m joking. Hopefully.)

See you there…

Site statistics for April 2021

Marijn van Hoorn

’Twas a slow month for The Garden and the site in general this April; my life has been turned a little upside down over the past month and i’ve not had much time for blogging. (Not to mention that i’ve been preoccupied with setting up the new, fancier Wordpress version of this blog.) As with last month, since i didn’t really consume much media over the past thirty days, i’ll be skipping the media diet rundown and just providing you with some sweet statistics. Let’s get into it.

Top 10 most viewed pages on the site

  1. Index page: 269 views
  2. Linkroll: 100 views
  3. Toaster shade generator: 58 views
  4. The author themself: 52 views
  5. The gender tetrahedron: 40 views
  6. The Garden (index page): 38 views
  7. Music i like: 27 views
  8. What i believe: 26 views
  9. Toaster: 25 views
  10. My coat of arms: 23 views

Top 5 most read entries on The Garden

  1. Is Britain running out of Conservatives? [Clickbait]
  2. Krystal clear
  3. Joyous April
  4. Opa
  5. Drie nieuwe thema’s

Top 5 countries where people are reading from

  1. The United States: 427 views, mainly consisting of Floridians, Kentuckians, Californians, and Washingtonians
  2. The United Kingdom: 115 views, the vast majority from England
  3. Canada: 47 views
  4. Mexico: 47 views
  5. France: 44 views

The next five consist of a smattering of Swedes, Kiwis, Germans, Moroccans, and Dutchmen, not necessarily in that order.

Krystal clear

Marijn van Hoorn

Hello. I’ve moved hosts from Neocities to Krystal, for various reasons that i have detailed before. The upshot is that Krystal will let me do more interesting, dynamic things, like setting up a proper blog on WordPress — easier to update, and with comments!

So, given the transition, you may now want to adjust your television sets. If you have any stray links pointing to “” instead of “”, be it on your website, in your bookmarks, or your RSS reader, now’s the time to change them to “”. Chære now — and Neocitizens, don’t worry, i’ll be keeping in touch!

Introducing the NEOcharts

Marijn van Hoorn
Coming soon... the NEOcharts: what songs are hot on the ’net?

Hello. I’m trying something new: a music chart! The NEOcharts is one of those, but instead of a country or streaming service, it’s for people with fun personal websites. Sound interesting? Here’s what i wrote about it on the main page (which, if you care to click through, also has a little example of what the charts will look like):

The NEOcharts is the up-and-coming music chart showing what’s hot on the ’net, sourced from the data of dozens of fellow netizens. It comes in two parts: the NEOhot 20, showing which singles people are banging around the world, and the NEOtop 15, showing what albums people just can’t get enough of. If you have a fun personal website, you can join in too! Details are below the chart…


You can join in the fun if you have a fun personal website — that is, one which isn’t primarily trying to sell something or get people to hire you — and an account on, a music recommending-and-data-tracking website.

Got all that? Just send an email to with your website and account, or, if you’re on Neocities, comment on my profile page on there with your account. Simple as!

(Do note that your website and account will be listed publicly.)

I’ll probably put together the first charts once four or five people have signed on. If it sounds like your kind of thing, you know what to do!

[P.S: I wrote up my original brainstorming for this idea back in March; feel free to go read that if you’re interested.]