The Garden

A blog by Marijn van Hoorn

A message from HM Government

Marijn van Hoorn
HM Government / NHS: Coronavirus Tier 23, Really Really Really Really High

Your local authority has been raised to a Covid alert level of Really Really Really Really High. This means your local area is now under Tier 23 restrictions.

You must work from home, and must not leave your NHS-supplied plexiglass cubicle under any circumstances except to Eat Out to Help Out.

You must wear three masks at all time indoors and four masks at all times outdoors, unless sitting down. You must not travel domestically outside your Tier 23 bubble, which currently consists of your local area and Rutland.

All international travel is strongly discouraged unless absolutely necessary. All governments except for New Zealand have closed their borders with the United Kingdom. Travellers to New Zealand should take note that, as part of local Covid precautions, any travellers with a high temperature upon entering the country will be immediately incinerated and their ashes stored in a nuclear waste facility.

If cases continue to rise such that your local authority has to enter Tier 24 restrictions, we might even ask the police nicely to consider enforcing these rules.